Meet Virginia

Dear Diary,

Let me continue where I left off yesterday. So my family moved up to Virginia for a few weeks of learning how to deal with a new culture and I guess strategy and all that blah blah stuff. I liked Virginia... It was like vacation bible school but cooler! I was always around people and I guess I have always been the hyper kid that got quite a bit of attention which doesn't make a lot of sense to me because I was always nervous about first meeting someone but then I guess I get comfortable quickly. Miami Vice was big back then... I mean BIG!!! I had my favorite Hawaiian style shirt that I wore as much as possible so I could look like Don Johnson... I didn't really pay much attention to the dreams that I was having then or I guess I didn't really know what they were about but I knew I felt dirty when I would wake up. There was a young woman who was there for training to go to Brazil as a journeyman to teach missionary kids and she became my nanny. I fell in love with her immediately!!! I loved it when my parents had to go to meetings and she would watch me... geez... I got started early. Of course, the feeling I so deeply felt for my older mistress was not mutual so I found a girl more age appropriate.... She was my best friend and just so happened to be moving to Brazil exactly when I was so it was perfect. She was my first kiss.... I know... 4 years old right! There was one encounter there that wasn't so good.... brought back all of the fear I had left back in MS... but this time it wasn't family. Once again... I do not remember what was going on outside of her room but I do know my sisters and parents were out with the rest of the group that was getting together that evening. She was an MK(missionsary kid) but she was older than me. I remember she locked and I wondered why.... hmmm.... the shame was overwhelming and later when her brother knocked on the door and she unlocked it instead of walking in to freedom it felt like the doors of a prison were being closed on my 4 year old heart. What do you do? I didn't know.... Was this normal? I have done something wrong!!! Those were the thoughts swimming around in my head. Soon MLC was over and we were going back to my grandparents to pack and get ready for Brazil.... Yes!!! Brazil would be my escape.....